Love?

Love. The word that people both look forward to and fear to fall prey to. A double-edged sword this one. So I've been thinking that at some point we'll all have to go through this cycle and hopefully fall into the former category rather than the latter. I've seen lots of people reeling in delight from love. And alot more left kneeling on their knees picking up the pieces of whats left of the relationship. What's left of them.


We small talk, work and the weather. Your guard is up and I know why


To both I can connect to. But what I ponder on is, when you know you without a doubt deserve better, deserve more, why do you still chose to fight for the relationship that you're currently in? Jyou told me not too long ago its never equal in a relationship. Ones always giving more than the other. I would love to digress. I have been where it was almost equal. Probaly not 50-50. But it was close. A 49-51. And it was bliss. It was what made me smile at the back of the car. It was what made me look so eagerly towards the end of the day when I can see my love again.


Forever can never be long enough for me. To feel like I've had long enough of you


When you've felt that, it's like tasting the finest quality of all marijuanas and your entire being just refuses to settle for second grade dope. Yet when you're starved of any drug to keep you going, when you ache for the taste of that non-obtainable finest quality, you'd in the end suck it all up and settle with the second grade goods. Not because you want it, but because you're too deep in you can't imagine living your life without it. So bad drugs is better than no drugs. Like how second leveled love from the one you love is better than not receiving any love or attention from them at all. Like how we settle with getting so much less than what we deserve. By accepting an ungiving love that hurts us deep down as we keep our face straight and tears held back because we think this is what love is. Sounds familiar?


Now I've gotten in to deep. For every piece of me that wants you, another backs away

Ultimately though, both drugs are detrimental. Much like how love can be. It can make a man. But it can also break a real man. I've learned, no matter how painful it is to leave the second grade stuff and start afresh a clean person, to have to undergo the painful withdrawal that just shakes your entire being and reduce you to the state of nothingness, it has to be done. Because only by this way can you save yourself from the ultimate death sentence that you choose to inflict upon yourself.


These days I haven't been sleeping. Staying up playing back myself leaving

Moving on is I think a slow process which takes its time. They say it takes time to heal. There's no rushing it. We can mask the pain beneath a flurry of activities, but it doesn't mean that all the pain and the hurt, the raw emotions that you feel is gone. No baby, it's very much still there. But that's allright. We have love around us and as we continue to take all of this love surrounding us in and giving our love to all these people that cares about you, for you, it'll pass. And there's no better surprise than to realise one day that you truly have moved on and opened your heart to another.

And I'll say hey, you'll say baby. How's your day? I'll say crazy, but it's all gonna be allright..I'm loving you tonight

I'll be waiting for this day. Slow and steady mon cheri